I’m such an idiot! How did I not see that coming?
I’m destined to fail, there’s no use.
Does this sound familiar?
How about – My parents told me a ditch digger and that’s what I am.
I used to think these things about myself. I would hear words like
these on a never-ending loop in my mind. I would struggle
every day to find the energy just to get up in the morning.
Looking back on that time, I read these statements and am startled
by the bare hostility I felt towards myself.
Are you one of the millions that still use these kinds of negative affirmations
in your mind every day?
Perhaps you don’t believe that what you say to yourself matters.
Maybe you’ve heard your family or friends use this kind of
language around you and have come to see it as an acceptable world view.
It is NOT. Telling yourself you will fail, virtually guarantees
that you will fail. Your mind actually starts looking for ways to help you fail,
because your mind subconsciously works to fulfill your wishes.
If you keep “wishing” you’ll never loose the weight, you won’t.
You will start craving sugar, carbs, and everything unhealthy in the book.
What to do? Write down positive affirmations about your current situation.
Turn the negative into a positive, and re-phrase your statement.
I can’t keep a job. –> I am taking the time to shore up my strengths and
will look for fulfilling work that aligns with my skills and values in the future.
I’m fat. –> I enjoy taking walks and eating new varieties of vegetables.
I’m stupid. –> I’m learning (insert skill) and getting better every day.
I keep messing up. –> I have gotten a lot of first-hand feedback about what
Use the following chart to re-word any negative thoughts you have
to turn them into positive change. Click here for the free printable: thought graph.pdf
Are you feeling when you read the positive
affirmations that you aren’t being “hard enough” on yourself?
I know I did at first. I thought I needed “crack down” on myself and
get to work!
I thought what would change things was to really punish myself for
making a mistake and that would “teach me”.
It’s not true. We need to accept failure as feedback, we need to learn to
love vegetables, and we need to feel excited about working on your skill
sets. Creating a negative experience around any area of your life will
only make you cringe when you go near that area of your life.
You will start to procrastinate, you will find reasons to avoid taking action,
and you will put off until tomorrow what could have been started today.
Why? Because it’s scary to do get yelled at!
If your mind thinks it’s going to get yelled at for failing,
it won’t help you start!
Think of a child, a small, adventurous child.
What happens if that child is told “no” over and over?
Don’t do that! You’ll hurt yourself! Stop climbing! NO RUNNING!
Sit down, pipe down, get down!
What will that child do? He will give up. He will stop.
He will shut down in fear.
Adults are no different.
Try this instead:
Don’t forget it is our job, to learn. It is our job, to grow.
It is our job to try new things.
It’s all a part of this grand experiment called life!
Don’t let yourself miss out because you are afraid.
The worst thing that is going to happen is that you’ll gain valuable feedback, and
have experience that will make you stronger, smarter, and better the next go-round.